You Can Negotiate Anything

The Core Insight

Power is based on perception, not reality. If you believe you have it, you project it. If you project it, others respond to it.

Most people believe they cannot negotiate. That belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The whole game shifts when you realize that most of what you thought was fixed is actually negotiable.

Everything is negotiable. Challenge authority. You have more power than you think.

This is a 1980 classic, packed with stories that stick. The kind you remember when you need them.

The Framework

In politics, poker, and negotiation, success is not just a strong hand. It is reading the whole situation and playing the cards well. To influence any outcome, analyze both sides through three levers:

1. Power. Based on perception. If you think you have it, you have it.
2. Time. Deadlines create pressure. Investment creates flexibility.
3. Information. What you know, what they know, and what you reveal.

Master these three, and you can move from where you are to where you want to be.

Key Ideas

Power Is Perception

Power is not good or bad. It is neutral. It is a means, not an end. You are at A. You want B. Power is what moves you from A to B.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."

The Wizard of Oz example: The Wizard turns out to be a bumbling old man with a smoke machine and noisemaker. He had little real power, but he had power because everyone believed he did.

The prisoner story: Even a prisoner in solitary confinement, desperate for a cigarette, has power. The guard wants something too. There is always a negotiation happening, even when you think you are helpless.

You have power if you perceive you have it. If you believe you have power, you project it. You shape how others see you and react to you. Power is their perception that you can, and might, create effects that could help them or hurt them.

The Power of Competition

When you create competition for something you have, it becomes more valuable.

If you say, "Yes, but nobody thinks it's worth much," you devalue it. If you say, "Yes, I talked to others at your level and they want to hear more," you make it desirable.

That is why it is easier to get a job when you already have one.

The loan story: Lance got 381 loans from 41 banks using a "keep away from me with your lousy money" attitude. He did not approach banks begging. He created the impression he had options. Dressed the part, brought an entourage, acted like he did not need the money. Banks competed to lend because other banks were lending, because he seemed not to need it, and because he clearly had options and could pick and choose.

When banks learned he needed the loans to pay back other loans, the money dried up.

Never enter a negotiation without options.

The Power of Legitimacy

Printed words, documents, and signs feel authoritative. People don't question them.

But anything that is the product of negotiation is negotiable, including the "price on the sign."

There is no Big Printer in the Sky.

Cohen challenged an IRS document by pointing out it was not "his book." The point: if it is the result of negotiation, it is negotiable.

Use legitimacy when it helps you. Challenge it when it hurts you.

Get Them to Invest

Start collaborative, like you are hungry for help. In negotiation, dumb can beat smart, inarticulate can beat articulate, and weakness can be strength.

Train yourself to say, "I don't know." Don't be too quick to "understand." Ask questions, even when you think you know the answer.

The Japanese meeting story: After a two-and-a-half-hour presentation, they smiled and said, "We don't understand. Can you do it again?"

If something is hard to negotiate, handle it at the end, after the other side has invested time and energy. If it comes up early, acknowledge it, talk about it, then defer it. Their investment makes them more flexible later.

Information Is Everything

Negotiation is not an event. It is a process that starts weeks or months before the face-to-face moment.

Start early to gather information. Before it is "official negotiation time," people share more. Quietly and consistently probe.

Old horse traders never reveal which horse they want, because the price rises.

Seem confused and defenseless and people will help you with information and advice. Ask questions even when you think you know, to test credibility and learn real limits.

The car buying example: Gather data on the car, the dealership, and the dealer. Learn his likes, dislikes, prejudices, values, and decision style. Probe, observe, ask, and listen more than you talk. Then structure your approach to meet the seller's real needs.

In every negotiation, two things are being bargained for:

1. The stated issues and demands.
2. The other side's real needs, usually unspoken.

The more you know about their finances, priorities, deadlines, costs, real needs, and pressures, the better you bargain. The earlier you start gathering it, the easier it is.

You have to give information to get some back.

Authority and Escalation

Never negotiate with someone who has no authority. A subordinate enforcing policy is often a robot. Sidestep robots. Go up the ladder.

The person who made the policy can remove it. Higher-ups know rules don't fit every case, see the big picture, and have authority to take risks and decide.

The Mexican hotel story: When told no rooms were available, Cohen asked the manager, lit a cigar, and asked, "What if the president of Mexico showed up? Would you have a room for him?" "Sí señor." "Well, he's not coming, so I'll take his room."

He got a room, promising to vacate if the president arrived.

The flip side: Never give yourself unlimited authority either. When you negotiate for yourself, you can make snap decisions and waste your time advantage.

Impose checks and balances on yourself. Limit yourself on purpose.

Care, But Never That Much

The worst person to negotiate for is yourself. You care too much, feel pressure, and take yourself too seriously.

Negotiating for someone else is easier because you are relaxed and objective. Treat it like a game. Pull back. Enjoy the illusion.

The dream house story: A man said he had to buy a house or his wife would kill herself, his kids would leave home, he would do anything to bring the price down. He paid the full $150,000.

When you have to have something, you pay top dollar and invite manipulation.

Moral: care, but never that much.

Things are not what they seem. Teach yourself: "Big deal." "Who cares?" "So what?" You will get better results because you will project mastery.

Don't Negotiate on the Phone

Saying no is easy on the phone. Being unreasonable is easy on the phone.

Face-to-face, it is harder to shaft someone. Don't let yourself become a bloodless statistic.

Be Persistent

Most people are not persistent enough. If the other side does not accept something immediately, they shrug and move on.

Don't. Hang in. Be tenacious.

The Power of Perceived Consequences

Your power over someone comes from their belief that you can and might help them or hurt them. The factual reality can be irrelevant. No one negotiates seriously unless they believe you can and might affect them.

In an adversary relationship, don't defuse their perception of your power unless you get something in return: a concession or repositioning that truly benefits you or the relationship.

Carter example: Publicly spelling out what we would or wouldn't do eliminated options and made us look like a paper tiger. Don't remove options and lower the other side's stress without quid pro quo. Let them wonder until you get what you want.

Practical Applications

1. Test your assumptions hard. Push beyond your own experience. You will find many of your "truths" were never true.

2. Train yourself to say "I don't know." Ask questions, even when you think you know the answer.

3. Don't negotiate on the phone. Face-to-face makes the other person treat you as a human.

4. Be more persistent than feels comfortable. Most people give up too early.

5. Never enter a negotiation without options. Create competition. Have alternatives.

6. Get the other side to invest. Time and energy spent makes them more flexible.

7. Handle hard issues at the end. Their investment makes concessions easier.

8. Limit your own authority. Impose constraints so you can't make snap decisions.

9. Know the odds, then be willing to shrug. Take moderate risks you can afford. Calculate whether the upside is worth the cost of failure. Be rational, not impulsive.

10. A tactic seen for what it is stops working. Once exposed, it loses power.

Who Should Read This

Read this if:

• You negotiate anything regularly (salary, deals, prices, favors) and have left money on the table in the last year because you did not ask
• You tend to accept the first offer or the posted price without questioning it
• You want to understand the psychology of negotiation, not just scripts to memorize

Skip this if:

• You want step-by-step scripts or formulas (this book teaches principles and mindset, not checklists)
• You are looking for ethical frameworks on negotiation (Cohen is practical, not philosophical)

The test: Think of the last time you accepted a price, term, or condition without pushing back. If you can name one in the last month, this book will show you what you missed.

The Decision

Power is neutral. It is indispensable for getting what you want without force.

If you turn away because you think you are helpless ("What can one person do?"), you will feel frustrated and miserable. When people believe they can't make a difference, they become apathetic and quit, or they become hostile and try to tear down what they don't understand.

You owe it to yourself not to live by what someone else thinks you should do.

Within reason, you can get what you want if you know your options, test your assumptions, take calculated risks based on solid information, and believe you have power.

Next step: Identify one upcoming negotiation (it could be as small as a service call or as large as a job offer). Before you engage, write down: What are my options if this fails? What does the other side really need? What information do I need to gather first? Then negotiate with that preparation.

Keep a sense of mastery. Choose your opportunities based on your needs. Don't let people who don't care about your interests set your terms.

If life is a game, negotiation is a way of life.